My Approach & Philosophy
“Your task is not to seek love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it."
— Rumi
Parent-Focused Coaching for Families
Parent Coaching Philosophy | Sarah Mackay Lynch, M.A.
Certified Parent Coach | Bay Area, California
When your teenager or young adult is struggling with mental health or behavioral challenges, the natural instinct is to focus all your energy on fixing them. You research their diagnosis, and you try every therapeutic intervention within reach. You do everything possible to motivate your child, to help them stay safe, and to bring peace to your home. When they’re stuck or resistant, you create incentives or consequences, and they either work with varying success or not at all.
But here's what I've learned, both as a parent who has walked this difficult path and as a coach, who has supported hundreds of families:
sustainable change in the family system starts with the parent.
The Foundation of Parent-Focused Coaching:
It Starts With You
This isn't about blame.
You didn't cause your child's struggles, and you can't control their choices.
But you can control how you respond and how you lead your family through this storm.
My coaching philosophy centers on a fundamental truth.
When parents commit to their own growth and emotional stability, the positive ripple effects can be profound—both within themselves and throughout the entire family.
In coaching, we settle your nervous system first before introducing practical steps that involve setting limits and getting appropriate support for your child.
Your child doesn’t have to stop all of their unhealthy or avoidant behaviors before things can improve at home. You can start making changes right now that will shift the entire family dynamic.
That’s where parent coaching comes in.
Even though there's no fairy dust to sprinkle on the challenges of parenting a complicated child, there is a kind of alchemy available when parents get the right support.
Our Process: Building Skills, Strength & Self-Trust
Foundational Work
Stabilize you. Your kids need you to be calm and anchored in the midst of chaos or uncertainty
Clarify your values and needs so you can parent from a centered, grounded place
Shift your mindset to parent in ways that feel aligned with your values and create more connection, not conflict
Practical Work
Build your parenting toolkit with strategies that create clarity and encourage growth
Develop or update family agreements and traditions that encourage clarity and accountability
Strengthen alignment between parents for more consistent, connected leadership
Notice and shift patterns at home that may be keeping your family stuck
Resilience Building
Shift from reacting to responding
Develop more tolerance for your own discomfort
Let go of what you can't control—and focus on what you can
Learn to track subtle signs of progress that might otherwise go unnoticed
Find moments of calm, even during challenging times
Why This Approach Works
My coaching combines three decades in education, professional certification, and—most importantly—lived experience as the mother of a daughter who struggled significantly during her teenage years. I've navigated residential treatment, wilderness therapy, and therapeutic boarding schools. I've experienced the fear, exhaustion, and isolation that comes with parenting a complicated child.
I also know that families can heal and parents can find their footing again—even after years of chaos.
My role is to walk alongside you, help you process the hard parts, and remind you that every parent deserves support.
It's never too late to make changes that will benefit both you and your child.